THE CALL - hoisted and petarded

Who you gonna call? The police? Nope. CTU? Nope. MacGyver? Hmmm. The ghostbusters maybe? No, 911 you fool! Seems the so called buzzing hive, where all the agents for tragedy aversion work, is a high tech operation. Never knew. Incredulity in your face.

Brad Anderson has done thriller horror before with Session 9, which ended up a decent film. He has crafted some indies and hollies as well like The Machinist, Transsiberian, Next Stop Wonderland etc. He certainly has talent and it shows in his new film The Call. The film moves at a riveting pace with some interesting shots which alluded to a possible acceptable premise. That ended rather quickly. The story is just plain dumb, barley worthy of  TV production. I ascertained this from the trailer but thought I would give it a shot anyway.

Halle Berry stars, with her usual timid wit and charisma. And some wild hair to boot. She receives a call at her amazingly big desk and gets a girl killed because of a slight foul up on her part. She gets another call six months later after switching positions due to stress. It's the same guy that killed the first girl striking again. He hangs up eventually and she decides to go find the kidnapee on her own. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. The End. 

Now from a critical standpoint I viewed it from the above angle—as throwback 90's garbage. But as a fan I rather enjoyed it! It was stupid sure, but fun to watch. Crazed killer who likes to scalp young blondes and sniff their hair with jailbait Abigail Breslin in a car trunk half the movie with Sopranos fave Michael Imperioli. What's not to like? It had some cool high octane moments but it might be best to douse yourself with gasoline and light yourself on fire as you watch.      

P.S. - more film hokum

THE INCREDIBLE BURT WONDERSTONE - the only incredible thing about this movie was the fact that I paid for a ticket. It had a few humorous moments but mostly it was a simple sophomoric display of wasted talent. I watched the film with Rosie O'Donnell behind me and had to bear through with her insufferable giggles and the crazy, laughing, monster guy directly behind me as well. This has got to be one of the worst ten week periods of movies I have ever seen.  

Recommended Viewing: The Machinist - Scream - Event Horizon

              Bob Scale: The Critic: 5.5   -   The Fan: 6.7

             MetaCritic: 52

 Rotten Tomatoes: 39

                    IMDB: 6.5

CLOUD ATLAS - blah blah balh blha hbal lhba

Um, I know I know—I said Taken 2 was the worst movie of the year but I believe I spoke too soon. Cloud Atlas, somehow, manages to embroil your senses in six parallel narratives without engaging your mind or emotions for three dreadfully long hours. An utter tragedy. 

I had strong inclinations from the get go that this film was probably going to be mediocre at best. It's too bad because there is a lot of talent present. As everyone knows, the Wachowski Brothers were codirecting this film with Tom Tykwer. Both directors have crafted masterpieces. The Wachowski Brothers created the world of The Matrix. The first Matrix movie has one of the best science fiction plots out there. The next two were enlightening in their own way. Speed Racer was actually rather innovative and bracing despite the poor reviews and negative viewer reaction. Anyway, the brothers can direct good cinema. Tom Tykwer is also an exceptional filmmaker. His Run Lola Run, Heaven and Perfume are particular exemplars of his talent. Nearly all the performers in Cloud Atlas have deserved renown and for good reason as well.

So, the combinatorial of persons involved yielded shocking, unwatchable, unpalatable nonsense. It was surprising to me that scene after scene harbored nothing of interest at all. The makeup was silly and unnecessary, the dialogue was puzzling and thoroughly unengaging, the acting was boring and the story was simply nonexistent. Are we all connected? Is reincarnation the way of the natural order of things? Perhaps Yes and Yes. But certainly not in the way this movie (and book) puts forward. Evolution via natural selection confirms that we all (humans, animals, plants—LIFE) are related—all distinct cousins of one another—all connected through RNA and DNA. Death and rebirth seem to be intrinsic in all life and non life from trees and monkeys to stars and galaxies to even possibly universes. However, I need not even say that so far there is absolutely no proof that any of these rebirths are the product of soul transfer or parthenogenesis etc. I love a good laborious mystery but I need to be able enjoy watching it while I dissect it. This film was just an unwelcome challenge to get through. Please save your time and money and skip this horrible illusory snickery trickery.  

 Recommended Viewing: Mulholland Dr. - Lost Highway - 12 Monkeys

              Bob Scale: The Critic: 2.0   -   The Fan: 1.4

             MetaCritic: 55

 Rotten Tomatoes: 62

                    IMDB: 8.4