Sunday, September 16, 2012

RESIDENT EVIL: RETRIBUTION - saving the world at a snail's pace

This is Resident Evil 5 or 6 or whatever the hell. I was bored after 2. The second really is the best one anyway. 

The movie starts with some entertaining reverse slomo visuals which happened to be my favorite part but then proceeded downhill with quantum speed. The underground ice complex is kind of interesting but since they explain everything away in the first 20 minutes, you know every next move. It's cool, I guess, that they bring back some of the original cast but who can even remember who or why they mattered. It's like Fast and the Furious. Although, you will remember why Vin Diesel matters. 

The gun battles are irritating and over long. All bad guys get hit with one attempt yet the 'important' baddies remain unscathed. As per usual, some good guys get hit in the arm or even killed but none you care about. It's amusing when evil minions fire point blank through car windows and miss everyone, somehow, over and over again. Why does no one ever get flippin hit in the back of the head when someone shoots out the rear window of vehicles! What conspiracy this is! Resident Evil number five is a decent video game movie. I will admit, that I jumped out of my seat about four effing times because they tricked me damn good. If you don't recall what happened in the last four (and I bet you won't) don't fret because they recap the whole gross epic in the first few minutes. Don't you just love mutant flesh eating zombies?

Recommended Viewing: Resident Evil: Apocalypse - Zombieland - 28 Weeks Later

              Bob Scale: The Critic: 5.2   -   The Fan: 5.5
             MetaCritic: 46
 Rotten Tomatoes: 35
                    IMDB: 6.3

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