TWILIGHT BREAKING DAWN: PART 2 - tangerine dreams for marshmallow minds

The most epic battle in 3 millennia—the ultimate showdown between primordial powers and nascent love riddled vampires—the terrifying collusion of man and beast—with special effects not eclipsed since Star Wars and the divine acting talents not yet equaled in the history of teen cinema—the supreme denouement—a film for the ages. Sure.

This has got to be one of the most baffling bad series of films ever made. They are obviously not made for someone like me—I'm clearly not the demographic—I am not a wanton teenage girl or a dejected mother. That said, why should I say anything about it at all? Well, I always try to keep an open mind. Even if something does not seem to appeal to me, I will generally try to give a shot anyway because you never know what you may learn or even come to cherish. So in comes Twilight. Surely this has very little, if anything, good to say about anything. 

I believe I comprehend. A teenage girl, not beautiful per say but rather average, someone like you—becomes the obsession of the 'hottest' supernatural guy around. Ok. You certainly reciprocate. You fall in love, like real love, your first love, über crazy lovey dovey love. You might say, well alright, what's so bad about that? Every teenage fantasy. I guess what I find terribly disingenuous and downright insidiously malicious is that ideas like this seem to be treated as something that should be your sole desire or lifelong goal of wish fulfillment and the idea of everlasting love being the only thing that matters in life. Not reality. Who cares, its a movie, you say. A fantasy, no less. I guess I wouldn't, except for the unconscionable amount of unseemly interest and swoon by the millions. Young girls want to believe in this drivel and do. The doddering writer, Stephenie Meyer, seems to be exploiting her own unrealized teenage feelings. 

It's possible to have good teenage or any age fantasy narratives without appealing to an emotional pseudo-reality. Harry Potter for instance. Films like Twilight plant fatuous ideas into young people and only set them up for disappointment. Likewise, the filmmakers did a piss poor job on all the films. The special effects are of kindergarten quality as well as the structure of the story. They also seemed to dumb down the whole enterprise. Teens are far smarter than you think—they should be treated as such—yet, if you tamper with their developing, sensitive emotions you are bound to come out on top. Thank you Ms. Meyer for the imminent destruction of countless teen psychologies and handing pharmaceuticals the next generation of drug dependent sociopaths. 

Recommended Viewing: Harry Potter Saga - Lord Of The Rings Saga - Star Wars Saga

              Bob Scale: The Critic: 4.0   -   The Fan: 2.4

             MetaCritic: 53

 Rotten Tomatoes: 51

                    IMDB: 5.8

THE HUNGER GAMES - still famished

First, I must say that this is a film geared towards teens - you might say duh, obviously - but I've witnessed many teenage films that are still enjoyable by any intellectual adult such as Thirteen. This is not one of those. Hailed as the next Twilight, I would be inclined towards consent. It is certainly more interesting than the Twilight series in my opinion and the stories show great promise. I cannot speak on behalf of the series of books because I have not read any of them but I have seen all the movies and witnessed the thousands of screaming and wooing teens in the theater. In fact when I attended the midnight showing of the second Twilight I could not even find a single seat in no less than 11 theaters!

The movie takes place in one of many possible dystopian futures. It's important to note that this is not a new story - The Most Dangerous Game was published in 1924 by Richard Connell and subsequently made into classic film in 1932. Many other films have played on the idea of people, young or old, placed into an arena of death and murderous intent - for what - bloodthirsty pleasure viewing of course. It's the modern day gladiator ring spelled out in the fantasy of literature and celluloid. Appropriate for teenagers?  I leave that to you. 

Jennifer Lawrence is the lead - interesting it is, that the last two great teen novels series have had a strong female presence - she is very good in the role and has shown real talent since she first came into public consciousness with Winter's Bone. This movie has a little more appeal towards male audiences than just appeasing their girlfriends, it has decent action and a girl that many guys would do well to chase after. She is smart, beautiful and most important, clever and able to survive in difficult situations.

This movie suffers from it's lack of clear direction, poor cinematography, abject character development and most likely an adherence to a PG-13 rating. It could have been far more exciting and interesting given an R rating - if you don't believe me you should check out Japan's Battle Royale which is far more stimulating and is very nearly the exact same story. Many of the shots convey confusion and are cut so quick that you literally never see anything except blurs - I hate this kind of viewing - it's headache inducing. The director (Gary Ross who directed the superb Pleasantville) would have done much better to put some time into other characters playing the game so that I would have actually cared if some of them died or not. Even Lawrence's character only kills to save another or out of self defense - this is boring because it supersedes reality and lacks interesting moral quandaries. The costumes and future set designs are minimally invasive and seem to me to be mediocre at best but as I stated at the beginning this is a movie for teens and really should not be considered as much more than pop culture realized.

Recommended Viewing: Battle Royale - Surviving The Game - The Running Man

              Bob Scale: Objective: 6.2   -   Subjective: 6.5

             MetaCritic: 68

 Rotten Tomatoes: 86

                      IMDB: 8.2