JACK THE GIANT SLAYER - fee fi ho hum

I remember seeing ads for this film over a year ago. I have not really been waiting with eager anticipation. I was right in that sentiment.

Bryan Singer is generally a good director. He brought us The Usual Suspects, X-Men I & II as well as the little seen Ian McKellen nazi film, Apt Pupil. He had a hiccup with Superman Returns but then crafted the rather excellent Hitler drama, Valkyrie. Jack The Giant Slayer, however, has done little to win my approval. It was actually a rather abysmal film. I think the creators should have went the Mirror Mirror route and made an unambiguous G or PG film for kids instead of the teen+ demographic centered travesty. The whole spectacle felt cheap and lame. The sets and costume design were subpar and took me out of the happy illusion of a time long since past. Numerous plot points didn't make sense and further the frustration. All in all its just a lackluster debacle. 

Nicholas Hoult is having a moment. He was just the right fit for Jack. The rest of the cast was chosen rather aptly but succumbed to mediocre direction and a weak script. You can have the video game graphics at the stories start, you can bask in the revolting idiotic giants who obey a silly heart infused crown, you can enjoy a floating island in the sky which can only be reached by a few magic beans, or you can just stay home and read a book instead. I suggest the latter.

Another two films to stay away from—Identity Thief and 21 & Over—no good. Like the oscars this year. Probably the worst winners and presentation in recent memory. Argo? Really? The best film of the whole year. I think not. Good but nothing special. Hollywood always orgasms when films are about filmmaking. Bah humbug, I say.

Recommended Viewing: Apt Pupil - X-Men II - Valkyrie

              Bob Scale: The Critic: 4.5   -   The Fan: 5.8

             MetaCritic: 50

 Rotten Tomatoes: 52

                    IMDB: 6.6

THE IMPOSSIBLE - a tidal wave of tears

A disastrous tidal wave pummeled Thailand in 2004. Over 250 thousand people were killed and numerous families displaced. This film chronicles one of those unfortunate lucky families.

You would have to be nearly inhuman to remain unmoved by the tragic events portrayed in this movie. Devastation, especially surprising devastation, is hard to come to grips with. One minute your in foriegn paradise playing in a pool and the next minute thrown into death defying situations. Terrible, truly terrible. 

This film, although good, is not without it's problems. It mostly follows a white family through the terrifying dismay and therefore feels somewhat disingenuous. When we see the hospital patients and those affected we mainly just see white people when of course those most affected were native to Thailand and even worse the family the story is based on happened to be Hispanic. Whats going on here? Obviously studios have to make money and money they shall make if Aryan stars are the victims of tragic circumstances. Just think about all the Holocaust films that are spoken in English with American or British actors. These historical innacuracies are overlooked not just due to financial uncertainties but also because it's easier to produce. I happen to agree in many cases. I happen to like films spoken in my own language—lol. I have to accept that this is just a representation of true events that, like any film purported on truth, will have artistic license employed, many times for the betterment of the art, not necessarily the truth. It may upset you that this particular film ignores the natives and chooses to focus on a beautiful white family but you will have to suspend itellectual woes and realize the horror through the fantasy portrayed. It is moving and it is troubling but hopefully it will lead you to look into the truth of the story to be facinated and appaled by nature.

Naomi Watts was spectacular in every respect as was her eldest son. The special effects are done with incredible accuracy as well. I challenge you to find any moment that feels like CGI. As far as disaster type movies go, this is one of the better ones with less Hollywood plot line and more documentary style action, however contrived. Disaster movies are easy to understand. Once your family is put in mortal danger the only next step is trying to save them or get them back together if separated—I'm sure everyone can agree. You will like this. Bring ample kleenex.

Recommended Viewing: Twister - Alive - White Squall

              Bob Scale: The Critic: 7.5   -   The Fan: 8.0

             MetaCritic: 73

 Rotten Tomatoes: 81

                    IMDB: 7.7

SALMON FISHING IN THE YEMEN - i'll have the samak please

Oh Lasse, what have you done here! You have crafted a film that is beautifully romantic and plausibly realistic and yet so unforgivably full of terrible cliches that I want my money back.

I liked the romance of the story quite a lot. The scientist and the office girl meet and have no mutual attraction and no special intentions. In fact they are both involved in other relationships which is made painfully clear at the start. This initial a-fortuitous encounter becomes a relationship that blossoms into fluorescence with great yearning from the audience. I suspect from the trailer that you would expect a rather normal romance between man and woman but that becomes clearly more complicated especially when you discover they are both entangled with someone else. I wonder if trailers intentionally deceive so that that shocks of this nature are more pronounced? Yes they do!

The way the romantic leads unfold their personalities is the stuff of good cinema, engaging and tear inducing. Lasse Hallstrom has made no less than six romantic dramadies and knows how and when to pull the heart strings. Is this a first rate romantic movie with a few laughs? YES. Is this a film in which we should place our ideals? A definitive - NO.

Take Ewan McGregor's character -  a stuffy scientist that has no emotions. What?! Being a lover of science myself I take slight offense to this badgering idea that all science and scientists offer are hard facts regardless of humanity. Science can be rigid but it is also wonderful, fascinating and mind-blowing - not emotionless in the least! I also despised the insertion of the Arab who keeps telling the scientist to have faith which is such a terrible jab at science itself. Science is based on that which is the opposite of faith - fact - or in so much that we have observable evidence and experimental data. Faith is believing with no evidence at all, so trying to prove that the scientist has faith through a silly anecdote is horrendously appalling. 

The Kristin Scott Thomas character is also a shameful representation of a PR person. I know from working in the music industry that PR reps have tendencies in this way - uncaring and inconsiderate - but since this movie exploits cliche after cliche of niches of public figures, I find it important to say that the writer or director's ulterior motives are on disgusting display here. The Prime Minister is also represented as a complete buffoon which is funny but after all the unwelcome effronteries, this just becomes another annoyance. To conclude, i really liked the film as a pure cineast and lover of idealistic romance but as a thinking person, I loathed every bit of it. I kept imagining what Richard Dawkins might say if he watched this film...

Recommended Viewing: The Hoax - Beginners - Random Hearts

              Bob Scale: Objective: 7.0   -   Subjective: 6.8

             MetaCritic: 60

 Rotten Tomatoes: 68

                      IMDB: 7.2